Introduction
Imagine a family reunion with two grandparents, two parents and a child. Reunions like this are become more and more prevalent. In the year of 1987, the New York Times published an article titled, Average Size of Household in U.S. Declines to Lowest Ever Recorded. The article states that in 1970 the average number of people per household was 3.14, then dropped to 2.69 in 1985 (Pear 1). In today's world, many people may be fearful of having children because of the challenges that society is facing. However, through serious consideration and contemplation, people have found that having multiple children creates developmental, psychological, familial and societal benefits.
In the past, psychologists believed that siblings played a very minor role in the development of other siblings. However, studies have shown that relationships between siblings play a major role in the social, psychological, and overall development of a child. An article found in the U.S News and World Report states that from the moment that a new baby enters a home with at least one other sibling, these two will start to have different effects on each other. The baby, from the moment that he or she is born, will start to make emotional connections to the people that are in his or her daily life. Also, "The arrival of a younger sibling may cause distress to an older child accustomed to parents' exclusive attention, but it also stirs enormous interest, presenting both children with the opportunity to learn crucial social and cognitive skills: how to comfort and empathize with another person, how to make jokes, resolve arguments, even how to irritate" (Goode 1). From past experience, I realize that when there is a change of attention, new perspectives are formed because situations are seen in a new light. When a child is no longer the center of attention, he or she is then able to observe that other child and will then make judgments on the situations and learn from it. So what are the real benefits of having siblings?
Stages of Development: an Overview
A psychologist named Jean Piaget developed different cognitive skill levels that are developed through childhood and adolescence. From the age of zero to two, the infant will discover different sensorimotor skills. They develop the idea of cause and effect, learning that when they cry someone will come. Between the ages of two and six or seven, a child will learn preoperational skills. In this stage, the child will begin to use his or her imagination. He or she will imagine that a pencil is an airplane or a block of wood is some type of animal. From the ages of seven to eleven or twelve, the child develops concrete operations. During this stage the child will develop the ability to converse and think logically. Finally, from the age of twelve to an adult, the child develops the ability to perform formal operations. This includes the ability to think abstractly, and to also perform hypothetico-deductive reasoning which is the ability to form hypotheses and think logically. (Baron 254) The development of these traits is crucial to the overall heath and natural progression of the child in order to have the capacity to live and thrive in today's society. Because every-day menial tasks require some sort of the abilities learned in these stages, if a child fails to develop in any given stage, his or her life will be greatly impaired. Take, for example, children with certain handicaps; they fail to fully develop some of these stages. They in turn have a very difficult life, with very limited understanding of the world around them.
Piaget's Stages: a Breakdown, how siblings influence development
Because the full development of these stages is so important, parents should take all the opportunities offered to help their children's progression through these stages. Having other siblings greatly magnifies the progression of these stages. The first stage, as stated before, is when the infant will discover different sensory motor skills; they learn the principle of cause and effect. Having a sibling, older or younger, in the home will help with the progression of either child through this stage. For example, games like Follow the Leader, Simon Says, and Red Light Green Light, to name a few, give siblings the chance to interact and, in some games, pretend. "Young siblings who engage in frequent pretend play demonstrate a greater understanding of others' emotions and are more likely to construct shared meanings of play" (Howe 2). When children play together, cognitive development is enhanced. Infants with older siblings imitated more behaviors than infants without older siblings. Thus we can see that children are very visual learners and will follow different patterns demonstrated by older siblings. As I stated earlier, infants form emotional connections with the people in their lives. Because of these emotional connections, infants are more likely to follow their siblings (Berger 1). Think about a baby; at about a year old he or she will start to walk. If a baby has a formed an emotional connection to a sibling and has a desire to run or walk like that sibling, he or she will then have a greater desire to start walking and may even venture to walk at a younger than normal age. With an emotional connection, trust is formed. As children pass through the stages, trust is an essential factor because it enables children to follow their sibling. A sibling that trusts his or her older sibling will be more likely to follow in his or her footsteps.
As children learn to look to their siblings to be an example, they will progress into the second stage described by Piaget. The pre-operational stage is very similar to the previous stage in the sense that imagination is still being used, but imaginary friends are formed, pretend play will happen more readily and walking should be growing stronger. The main difference though is that the child will begin to talk. "Older siblings provide developmentally more advanced models for younger siblings and help create a stimulating enriched environment that seem to enhance younger siblings development" (Berger 1-2). The single biggest benefit of having siblings is the fact that the more experience one has, the greater chance he or she will have to be successful in their own endeavors. When more people live in a home, individuals will gain more knowledge and will know how to respond to different situations with a bigger perspective on how to solve a problem. As I talked to individuals about their families, I realized that a common theme that was presented multiple times was the fact that they learned so much from their siblings. Many examples could be presented, showing how different people have gained a greater perspective on life from their siblings, but I will give just one. A neighbor of mine moved in across the street about 6 years ago. At that time they had 6 children from the ages of one to fifteen. Because the dad was constantly working and the mother had to take care of the house, the one-year-old was often left under the care of the older siblings. Through the months, especially the summer, I was able to see the one-year-old progress very rapidly through these stages. Even though I had no idea about these stages, I saw firsthand as the older siblings took the younger ones by the hand, teaching them how to ride a bike, shoot a b-b gun, play a wide variety of game from tag to chess, and even start to read. When this child entered school, he was already well ahead of his grade in reading, writing, athletics, as well as cognitive abilities--able to think logically and perform some concrete operations.
As children progress through the stages described by Piaget, they start to think logically and form concrete operations. "Children with more siblings have been reported to develop an understanding of the link between what we think and how we behave in advance of those with fewer siblings. Those with positive sibling relationships tend to display greater moral maturity and more positive peer interactions (Cutting 1). Many people may say that one of the biggest differences between children and adults is maturity. Maturity is developed from experience. As children develop positive sibling relationships, moral maturity will augment and their actions will begin to reflect their maturity. For example, my neighbor that I described earlier at the age of six and seven had a very good understanding of why certain things are and are not acceptable. He had formed the link between how we think and how we behave. As a child comes to understand how to think logically and perform certain concrete operations, he or she will progress into the last stage describes by Piaget. During the formal operations stage, children gain the ability to generate hypothesis and think logically. When children play, they come up with many different ideas. When a child has siblings that are older or younger, there will be more opportunity to experiment different hypotheses that he or she has formed.
Critics may disagree and say that more siblings in the home cause more contention and in the end the contention will do more harm than good. "Sibling conflicts are frequent, poorly resolved, and sometimes highly aggressive, violent or even abusive" (Howe 3) Further, when a child has many conflicts growing up, it may lead to violent tendencies. These violent tendencies many times are passed on from generation to generation, leaving scars that are very difficult and painful to heal. They may also lead to depression, anxiety and isolation. However, "To see only hostility in sibling relations is to miss the main show" (Goode 1).
With the arrival of a new baby, or the main show, an older child may feel distressed. However, studies have shown that with this arrival into the household enormous interest results, "presenting both children with the opportunity to learn crucial social and cognitive skills: how to comfort and empathize with another person, how to make jokes, resolve arguments, even how to irritate" (Goode 1). Furthermore, University of Texas psychologist Duane Buhrmester states, "you may not be happy about a brother or sister who is kind of pushing you along, but you may also get somewhere in life" (Goode 1). As I started my research for the paper one of the most common themes that I heard was the fact that with sibling rivalry, the siblings are motivated to set lofty goals and actually achieve them.
As children progress through the stages described by Piaget, their siblings will be able to be role models and, in turn, the moral maturity obtained will far outweigh any of the negative consequences. During my life I have gained moral maturity from interacting with my siblings.
Sibling Relationships: A Psychological Outlook
Writer Leo Tolstoy once opined that, "The simplest relationships in life are those between brother and sister.
Sibling relationships shape how people feel about themselves, how they understand and feel about others, even how much they achieve. And more often than not, such ties represent the lingering thumbprint of childhood upon adult life, affecting the way people interact with those closest to them, with friends and co-workers, neighbors and spouse" (Goode 1). Breaking down this quote, we see that not only do siblings play a crucial role in the early development of other siblings, but that their influence can affect emotional and mental behaviors later in life.
Despite different attitudes and traits among siblings, simply by being raised together with the same parents, siblings will acquire many similarities. As a teenager, I fought with my younger siblings. But as my siblings and I matured, we then developed strong relationships. We have many of the same interests, such as being in the outdoors and going on family vacations. My brother and I love to ride motorcycles and to break dance. Now I can see that because of these commonalities, life has been more enjoyable; when I need to get out and do something, my siblings are there to do things with me. But even in the best of families, there can be sibling rivalry and contention.
I have a brother that loves to criticize everyone and cause contention; I also have a sister that, when I feel discouraged will try to sustain me in my endeavors. Contrasting theses two siblings, it is apparent to me that both have been a benefit to me in my life.
Josh, the brother that is always chastising me, has taught me how not to treat friends, coworkers and family members. For example, this last summer my family took a family vacation to California; we stayed on the beach and went to Disneyland. My brother, who is about ten years older than me, has two boys that are five and seven years old. Josh, who is very impatient, loses his temper very often. During these moments, he will do things that many times he regrets. Despite the great love he has for his boys, Josh is very intolerant with the insignificant mistakes that they make. The times that I have come into contact with Josh, I have learned to stay out of his way. He has also taught me to stay neutral in an argument. This has proven to be beneficial to me in times of conflict with others because I now understand how to deal with negativity.
Despite the fact that Josh is self-centered, my sister Tessa possess many positive attributes that have benefited me. Growing up with my sister, I realized that love is the best motivator. To lead with love means that a person offers positive reinforcement when needed. Throughout my life I have been in situations that have required me to motivate and lead others to accomplish a task. In R.O.T.C. (a program that trains military officers) I have been appointed to different staff positions including Squad Leader. In this position, I need to motivate my troops to accomplish tasks that are physically and emotionally challenging. Through my relationship with my sister, I have learned to be successful at motivating and inspiring others to do their best.
Familial benefits
In the past, devoted sons and daughters have taken care of dying parents. With current trends, where late marriages and few children are common, siblings may find themselves caring for an older brother or sister. Whether or not this becomes a burden or a blessing depends much on the bond that has been built throughout life. "Sibling relationships outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship" (Goode 1).
Despite all of the proof that has been given about the benefits of sibling relationships, including but not limited to physical, emotional and mental stability, many may still wonder why in the world would anyone want to have a family? Many people may be opposed to having a family because they do not feel qualified to raise a productive and happy family. Other reasons include the fact that it is extremely costly to have children and the time and effort required seems overwhelming. These are very legitimate reasons. The pressure to provide, care for and raise children in a healthy manner can be overbearing at times. Every child is a strain on the parents and at times children add huge amounts of stress on a family. Babies are difficult to handle, having constant need of attention. Many times both husband and wife are required to work to pay the bills and put food on the table. A baby has the need to be nurtured by the mother; however, when the mother needs to work to help pay the bills, whether or not to have a baby can be a difficult question to answer. Not only are the strains of a family hard on the parents, but siblings can put a major strain on the other siblings.
Fighting in the home not only causes stress on the parents, but also adds pressure on the siblings that live there. The damage that this fighting can cause to a child or adolescent can be substantial. Long term effects of mistreatment may include depression, difficult relationships, hatred and resentfulness (Erickson 1).
Rivalry between brothers and sisters is common, but "to see only hostility in sibling relations is to miss the main show" (Goode 1). With the arrival of a new baby, an older child may feel distressed. However, studies have shown that with this arrival, enormous interest results, "presenting both children with the opportunity to learn crucial social and cognitive skills: how to comfort and empathize with another person, how to make jokes, resolve arguments, even how to irritate" (Goode 1). Furthermore, University of Texas psychologist Duane Buhrmester states, "you may not be happy about a brother or sister who is kind of pushing you along, but you may also get somewhere in life" (Goode 1). As I started my research for the paper one of the most common themes that I heard was the fact that with sibling rivalry, the siblings are motivated to set lofty goals and actually achieve them. Despite this, siblings may push us or pressure brothers and sisters to do things that are shady and illegal.
Societal Perspectives
Trust may also lead people to do irrational things. For example, in many cities throughout the nation, gangs and drug dealers are prevalent. Once a sibling is in a gang, he or she may pressure his or her other sibling to join, and the same for drug dealers. If the sibling has developed a trust and friendship so strong that he or she will do anything to uphold that bond, then the sibling may be unable to withstand the pressure to say no and avoid the influence of gang activity. In the media, we see individuals getting revenge for what others have done to their family. Loyalty to ones' family may at times cause people to act irrationally, causing the standard that the older sibling has embraced to also be the standard that the younger will accept.
Talking with a school counselor, I found that many students are affiliated with gangs and drugs because their older siblings were involved in the same activities. Starting at an early age, I saw friends that I had grown up with start to drink and do illegal drugs. Many times the drugs and beer were purchased by older siblings who, at the same age, had participated in the same activities. When older siblings are supporting riotous behavior such as this, it becomes much easier for minors to engage in these activities. In a study, conducted in 2008 among inmates incarcerated in Utah prisons, forty eight percent reported having "a sibling who had been in prison or jail or on probation" (Crane 275). This percentage clearly reflects that delinquency among siblings is an extremely difficult behavior to eradicate.
Even though siblings may cause major stresses on families, siblings make it possible for brothers and sisters to succeed in society. Robert Baron states "a large body of evidence indicates that older siblings often serve as teachers and guides, helping their younger brothers and sisters to acquire new skills and increased understanding of other people" (Baron 269). Growing up on a farm, I was often asked to look after my younger siblings and do chores around the farm. During these times I learned a lot about being conscientious and accepting responsibility. These traits will continue to be with me and lend to my ability to be successful as an adult.
Conclusion
As an adult, I have found that siblings add a whole new meaning and dimension in my life. If I were an only child, I would live for myself. Having siblings gives me an added sense of belonging and I do live in part for them. They push me to do my best because I know that they want only the best for me. This connection is possible between every brother and sister, and makes life worth living to its fullest potential. Erma Bombeck summed it up when she stated, "We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together." z
Annotated Bibliography
Ackerman, Robert A., Deborah A. Kashy, Brent M. Donnellan, Rand D. Conger. "Positive-engagement behaviors in observed family interactions: A social relations perspective." American Psychological Association, 20 July 2001. EBSCOhost premier. Web. 25 Oct. 2011. This study investigates the nature of positive engagement in family interactions involving at least one adolescent. This source shows how positive support given by parents or siblings affect family norms and thus lead to a more rounded individual. It gives adequate information by using examples of different families and what was observed during normal family interactions. This source is very credible because anything published by the American Psychological Association has been reviewed by many professionals. It has also taken into consideration many different studies and has cited other professional's opinions.
Baron, Robert A. Michael J. Kalsher "psychology from science to Practice". Allyn and Bacon, 2008. Pages 253-257.
Berger, Sarah. Katie Nuzzo. "Older siblings influence younger siblings' motor development" www.interscience.wiley.com. 19 March 2008. Web. 15 Nov 2011. This study talks about motor development in infants when an older sibling is present. It showed that infants that have an older sibling are more likely to develop language and cognitive abilities earlier in life. Using this source will help back up Piaget theories about language and cognitive development. Piaget believes that during the pre operational stage children begin to develop the ability to speak and converse on a basic level. This study supports that claim and shows that when siblings interact with younger siblings through any type of play or work, children develop the ability to speak earlier in life. This source is credible because the researchers dedicated around ten years to plan and conduct this survey in order to find conclusive evidence.
Crane, D. Russell, Tim B. Heaton, "Handbook of families and Poverty" Families and Relationships, 2008. Web. 2 Dec. 2012.
Cutting, Alex, "siblings" BBC. 1 May 2006. Web. 15 Nov 2011. In this article sibling relationships are explored and evaluated. Cutting stated that children with more siblings are more likely to form connections between what they think and how they behave in society. Using this source to back up Piaget theories about concrete operations will give proof that moral maturity is developed faster when other siblings are in the home. It also provides some good quotations that are used in the paper to reflect on and evaluate. This source is very helpful because it talks so closely about peer interactions.
Erickson, Shelley, and Vickie Jenson. "All in the family? Family Environment Factors in Sibling Violence." Northridge California. Springer Science+business media, Inc. 30 Nov. 2006. EBSCOhost. Web. Oct. 24 2011. Erickson and Jenson describe some of the different family environments in which siblings abuse other siblings. Then they go into the short term effects and long term consequences of the physical abuse. They state that this abuse can lead to long term emotional and behavioral problems. In addition it leads to long lasting and damaging effects on relational ties among adult brothers and sisters. Because of this abuse many times it is hard for the abused to cope with difficult challenges. In turn this source presents many the negative effects of having siblings. In order to portray a well rounded argument, both sides of the spectrum need to be represented. This source supports many of the naysayers that are presented and logically shows the connection between problems in households and what they lead to further on in life.
Goode, Erica E. "The Secret World of Siblings." U.S. News and World Report, 1994. EBSCOhost. Web. 25 Oct. 2011. Goode discusses some of the most important aspects of sibling relationships. She states that traditionally experts have had the impression that sibling bonds had a very minimal effect on the stages of human development. Because of recent studies experts are beginning to see the exponential effects siblings have on siblings. This essay explores the results of things like jealousy, competition, traumatic life experiences shared between siblings, and even the effects of being together in the kitchen or around the dinner table. The goal of this source is to shed more light on the topic of sibling relationships because little is known about the effects of siblings on each other. This is a really good source because it gives very precise information that will be very beneficial to the paper. This source proves that siblings that have experience together are more likely to have a strong relationship throughout life. Some examples of life experiences are given that would have probably torn good friends apart, but because of the strong ties held by brothers and sisters the bonds that were formed remained strong.
Halpert, Julie. "Why Can't You Two Get Along?." Scholastic Parent and Child, November 2010. EBSCOhost. Web. 25 Oct. 2011. In this short article Julie describes the frustrating situation of siblings that fight and argue. She gives parents some of the causes of the fighting and then goes on to give tips on how they can avoid this contention. She states that sibling rivalry is very common and natural. The first minute mom brings home a new baby the first child is starting to feel displaced. Some of the benefits of having siblings are learning how to cope with them thus enabling them to be successful in society. Halpert teaches the children how to act in situations when they lose the attention from the parent. She helps them realize that there is a reason that the baby is crying so they say to themselves maybe the baby is crying because ____ is happening. In her doing this the children are becoming capable to reason and think critically at a young age. This is a huge benefit to having siblings. Breaking down this source, it is easy to see that it presents a well rounded argument that will be easy to support with other people's research.
Howe, Nina. Holly Recchia. "sibling Relations and their impact on children's development" Encyclopedia on early childhood development. 13 April 2006. Web. 15 Nov 2011. This article explains that sibling relations impact children's development. It shows that sibling relationships provide an important context for the development of children's understanding. This article was helpful because it gave ideas related to sibling conflict and the effects of sibling conflicts on individuals. This source is highly useful because it shows that relationships can be highly aggressive and end in long term damage. When relationships like these exist, they can make it very difficult for someone to cope in society because anxiety brings feelings of insecurity and hatred. In addition the hatred may cause the person to feel uncomfortable in society.
Pear, Robert. "Average Size of Household in U.S. declines to Lowest Ever Recorded" New York Times. 15 April 1986. Web. 15 Nov. 2011.
Rich, Jodi. Personal Interview. October 12 2011. In this interview we discussed the benefits of having siblings in the home. Jodi told me of some difficult situations that came up because the parents were always out of the home and the son got into a lot of trouble with gangs and drugs and in the end was expelled from high school. Many of these problems could have been resolved if he would have had a sibling to go to for help and support and not the gang. This interview is very well rounded because it shows some of the benefits of having children and some of the drawbacks. This interview gave me a good foundation for where to start looking and what I need to research in order to have a convincing argument.
